To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern,
Thank you for always being so honest with me. I’ve thought a lot about what you said. For so long I have accepted this way of thinking and behaving without even realising it.

Up until Sunday the ‘warning signs’ so to speak were always the same and I was able to identify them and I was stopping or at least working on stopping my though processes. But on Sunday it was like the rules were changed and I didn’t recognise it. I got so used to them being the same that I wasn’t aware of the alterations. I got complacent and I can’t believe I ‘fell for it’. I know it isn’t an excuse. I don’t want to appear to be making excuses. I am fully prepared to accept responsibility. But at least I know that it may not be the same and I will try to watch out for it.

I don’t want to hurt people. That’s the last thing in the world I want to do. I can see now that hurting myself and giving in to this spirit is hurting the people I care about the most.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m tired of being this person, of hating myself, of hurting myself, of hurting others. I’m sick of being afraid. Every time I look at myself I tell myself how stupid I am. I hate what I have done and the effect it has on me. I want to stop that. I want to stop hating myself. I want to stand up and start fighting.

Thank you,

Kirsty xxoo