Shit Day Tester
Is there anyone else in the world that freaks out when they hear a certain word? It’s stupid. Why do I let one little word get to me so much. It doesn't matter if someone says it, whether it’s in a movie or even if I read it. Same reaction. My stomach ties in knots and starts doing summersaults. My heart starts racing, hands shaking. I stop breathing and my head retraces past events.
No one knows. Well I hope they don't notice. I try to keep everything inside. Internalise any freak out. God forbid anyone knowing how I really reacted.
It’s getting hard at the moment though. My cracks are beginning to show.
Sleeping for the next month would be good.
At least its 1 down.
This was and is always going to be the easiest of them all. Still hard though.
I think I have this built in shit day tester that sends out warning signals like sonar when shit days approach.
Fuck today. Fuck next week. Fuck everything.
No one knows. Well I hope they don't notice. I try to keep everything inside. Internalise any freak out. God forbid anyone knowing how I really reacted.
It’s getting hard at the moment though. My cracks are beginning to show.
Sleeping for the next month would be good.
At least its 1 down.
This was and is always going to be the easiest of them all. Still hard though.
I think I have this built in shit day tester that sends out warning signals like sonar when shit days approach.
Fuck today. Fuck next week. Fuck everything.
posted by Esprit d'Ange @ 10:43 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
You're a bit more transparent than you think you are. I know that's how you feel when that word comes up, and I'm pretty sure there are a couple of others who do as well. At least one, maybe more. You do a good job of covering it - people who don't know you wouldn't notice, but the rest of us, we feel for you.
I think you're doing a good job.
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